For example,
Ariana Grande makes me squirm. Granted she's only 20 years old and looks a lot younger, but she needs to stop marketing herself as a child. And her fans/the general public need to stop referring to her as a child. This is one example of how society/the media perpetuates this connection between childlike innocence/naivety and sexual attraction.
Infantilizing grown women, no matter how young they look, is seriously creepy, contributes to rape culture, and is crazy demeaning towards women. And since I enjoy lists, I shall list my reasons of contempt for this marketing ploy/mindset:
Is this the album cover for an adult musician or the new cover for Lolita?
1. If we treat grown women like children, it becomes that much easier to treat children like grown women.
If we value the same childish characteristics of a shy school girl in a grown woman, we are equating the two ages. Nope, nope, nope, nope. A full grown, adult woman with the ability to consent is NOT the same as an inexperienced, not fully developed mentally, emotionally, or physically young girl.
This contributes to rape culture a crazy amount. Older men think a child's appearance justifies doing inappropriate things with them. Other people excuse sexual assaults just because a child acts older. Just look at how much victim blaming goes on because little girls magically become women because they wear makeup or some crap:
- A judge stated a 14 year old rape victim "seemed older than her chronological age" and sentenced her rapist to only 30 days in jail.
- A defense attorney accused an 11 year old gang rape victim of seducing the rapists and luring them in.
- A judge blamed a 14 year old girl for her rape because she wasn't a virgin and only put her rapist on probation.
- A special needs rape victim in 7th grade was forced to write her rapist an apology note and was then expelled from school.
We sexualize infant-like qualities in women. Thus, they are the same as children and children are the same as them. Thus, we can blame young girls for their sexual abuse. Horrible logic. I rest my case.
2. By sexualizing characteristics such as nativity and innocence in women, we add to the already heavily present power differential between men and women.
Think about it - if you infantilize a woman, it becomes erotic. If you infantilize a man, he becomes emasculated. We tell women that it's sexy to act coy, doe-eyed, and childish. But this form of sexiness is demeaning because infantilizing a woman strips her of her intelligence, maturity, imagination, and experiences. She's not capable of making her own decisions, she's not mature enough, she doesn't know what's best for her.
But if young women are taught that behaving like a child is somehow seen as cute and playful in the eyes of guys that really see them as lower in worth/intelligence, then we have an issue. Girl, the Women's Suffrage Movement did not start so you could bat your eyelashes and play dumb.
3. The infantilization of women also shames women for their age.
The standard of beauty for women is defined by youth, so when, god forbid, a woman begins to age like a natural human being, she is thrown a slew of beauty products to keep her looking impossibly young.
I'm really not having it anymore with people saying old men are "distinguished" and old women are these Mother Gothel, wrinkly spinsters. HAVE YOU EVER MET AN OLD LADY?! They are the bees knees and there is extreme beauty in the amount of life experiences they have had.
I cannot accept this shaming of age and glorification of youth as the only measure of beauty knowing fully well that I will AGE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. And I will look flawless with all my saggery thank you very much.
Take a look at these nauseating charts from OKCupid. I had to have a cup of tea and check my blood pressure after seeing these:
I would much rather have a full grown woman such as Beyonce flaunt her sexuality in sequin leotards than have a full grow woman like Ariana Grande portray herself as a underage school girl. And people seem a lot more concerned about women like Beyonce and Nicki Minaj who accurately portray their age which is concerning my friends, very concerning.
The sexuality performed by Beyoncé and Niki Minaj is different in a few ways from that performed by Ariana Grande.In the US, we have a long legacy of policing the bodies and sexualities of people of color, especially women of color. People of color, including women, are treated as adults while they are still children. They are arrested, charged, and convicted as adults far more often than white youth, and they are killed at the hands of police and the legal system at a higher rate. Women of color are more likely to be victims of sexual assault and physical violence. Young children of color experience these things as adults and are not protected in the same way white children are. In addition, the sexuality of women of color has long been taken out of their control from a young age and they are often forced to grow up prematurely. Ultimately, I am saying that the childish performances of Grande are a privilege that is not available to Beyoncé and Niki.
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