Why I Don't Go to Frat Parties Anymore

Yeah, I had my days of Dixie cup double shots and struttin' around a sweaty living-room-turned-dance-floor babysitting an entire plastic handle of Taaka that I claimed as my own. It was pretty swell despite the emotional scarring I received from seeing people puke in public and occasionally flashing my underwear because of a washed-a-few-too-many-times Forever 21 dress I was wearing.

The other thing that bothered me about fraternity parties, that I didn't realize until I took a break from my life as the female Charlie Sheen, was da sexism. I shall explain...

1. The way parties are set up inherently promotes destructive girl-on-girl competition.

By restricting other men from entering parties and letting in every single girl, the ratio creates a sense of competition. Girls are more likely to go further with a guy because they feel so lucky that out of all the girls at the party, this guy chose them to shack up with for the night.

Yeah, I know, I've felt that same sense of victory, like I somehow increased in worth because I beat every other girl to this gentlemanly frat star who I'll spend the rest of my college career avoiding sober eye contact with.

I've also felt the ridiculous jealousy of, and unfounded hatred towards, girls that have hooked up with a guy I "had a thing with"...and by "thing" I mean we probably said hi once and he liked one of my Instagram pictures. BUT DAMN HER, RIGHT? Interfering with true love, rude.

2. The way parties are set up exploits and takes advantage of younger girls and gives them an unhealthy picture of college life.

Freshman and sophomore girls have the highest chance of being sexually assaulted compared to the rest of the student population. Why? Because they are perceived as vulnerable by predators. Girls fresh out of high school often don't have experience with drinking; it's easier to get them to go past their limit.

Now, not all men are sexual predators, but most sexual predators are men. And most college-age perpetrators commit an average of 5.8 rapes during their time in college. So yeah, it's a few dudes, but they are dudes. And not all of them can be found in fraternities...but the band-of-brothers-we're-all-in-this-together attitude of fraternities makes it less likely that brothers will call someone out if they're engaging in predatory behavior. Sad.

So these young women are exposed to a college culture of binge drinking and men that view them as "targets", which is not healthy.

3. Party themes are often sexist and demeaning towards women.

Besides lacking any sort of creativity, themes like CEOs and Office Hoes, Colonial Bros and Nava-hoes, & GI Joes and Army Hoes are stupidly sexist. But hey, if I don't like being called a hoe I shouldn't go to these parties, right?

Wrong. Themed parties are fun as hell. But sexist themed parties degrade women, contribute to rape culture, and are flat out creepy and unoriginal. Plus, I'm pretty sure I got pneumonia like 7 times freshman year from going out in the equivalent of a bathing suit.

Fraternities should be helping dismantle rape culture and uplifting their sorority counterparts (and women in general). And fraternities have a unique opportunity to do so given that they throw parties and sororities don't.

So what can fraternities do to make their parties a more safe and comfortable environment for women? Here are my suggestions:

• Stay away from themed parties that enforce sexual stereotypes.
• Make sure that there are other places to sit/socialize besides people's bedrooms.
• Have a few sober brothers at every party. They're already mostly required during exchanges, they should be at house parties too. 
• Set a good example for new members; call out creepy behavior when you see it.

So there you have it. Besides my liver's inability to hang anymore, and increasing amount of youths at parties, this is why I no longer attend fraternity parties. On the weekends, you can catch me downtown or on my couch coddling a bottle of Merlot. Or sleeping for 17 hours straight.