What the Body Positivity Movement is Missing

I'll start by saying that the body positivity movement is absolutely necessary and does many great things. In a culture that highly sexualizes and commercializes women's bodies, it is absolutely necessary to have a movement to celebrate bodies as they are. We should acknowledge, accept, and celebrate the parts of our bodies that the media and capitalism have told us are shameful, imperfect, and need fixing. And this extends beyond body size and weight.

As the movement has grown, we've seen in begin to include, celebrate, and discuss topics including curves, stretch marks, tummy rolls, body hair, makeup, and breast size. We've seen, and could still stand to see more, women of color, queer women, trans women, Muslim women, and women with disabilities speak out about their unique bodies. These intersections of race, class, ability, gender, and sexuality need to be further explored in the body positivity movement. We still need to continue to dismantle eurocentric beauty standards. Not all the models and faces of the body positivity should be white, cis, straight women. We need to speak out on and celebrate trans bodies, butch bodies, femme bodies, men's bodies, old bodies, bodies with disabilities and/or chronic illness, bodies that adhere to religious beliefs/attire, bodies of those who can't afford braces or acne treatment.

Yet, while I see these critiques of the body positivity movement, while I see the call to action to make it more diverse and explore these intersectional issues, there is consistently one thing I see missing. I do not mean to say that this missing thing is more important than those other intersectional issues. We still have much work to do within the body positivity movement regarding diversity. However, this topic needs to be addressed in these critiques, as well.

And that is STDs and STIs.

Some may argue that these issues belong to the sex positivity movement. And they do. But they also belong in the body positivity movement. STDs/STIs are so intimately linked to the body and they need to be addressed. We need to dismantle the negative stigmas, prejudices, self-hatred, and abuse surrounding STDs/STIs.

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STDs/STIs are so intimately linked to the body and they need to be addressed. 

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We are taught from a young age that STDs/STIs are dirty, scary, shameful, embarrassing and only low class, "slutty" people get them. Certain STDs/STIs are the brunt of classist, sexist, racist jokes about sex workers, promiscuous women, women from the "hood", etc. The fear-based method of teaching about STDs/STIs often translates into hatred, loathing, and fear of one's body after they contract something. 

The negative stigmas around STDs/STIs often make people feel like their body is disconnected or foreign to them. It makes people feel like their body is dirty, tainted, or ruined. But STDs/STIs do not make your body unlovable, unworthy, dirty, or shameful. It is hard to remember these things when society treats STDs/STIs with such negative, prejudicial stigmas. It's also hard to remember these things when you're newly diagnosed, having an outbreak, or experiencing an increase in symptoms that directly affect your body. 

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When we say "all bodies are beautiful," 

we need to include the ones with STDs/STIs.

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So while we expand the body positivity movement to include intersectional issues of race, gender, sexuality, ability, etc., we need to remember to include discussions about STDs/STIs. They directly affect the body and the way people relate to, treat, and view their own bodies. We need to dismantle the toxic stigmas that STDs/STIs are indicative of a dirty, unlovable body. Love, accept, and celebrate the body through battles, experiences, and lifelong relationships with STDs/STIs. When we say "all bodies are beautiful" we need to include the ones with STDs/STIs. 

Why You Are Not "My Sisters"

As I prepare to join the National Women's March on Washington, I'm reminded by fellow activists that we as white women have failed other women. We have failed women of color, trans women, queer women, Muslim women, undocumented women, Native women, and others. It is our long history of comfortable activism that has aided in perpetuating systems of oppression. We march when the marches are national, we post on social media when there is a hashtag, we share articles on Facebook, we wear shirts when they are trendy. But what we NEED is to be more active, more sustainable, more radical, and more intersectional.

In thinking about ways to make my activism more intersectional and of better use to other more marginalized women, I started to develop a rhetoric of inclusion and unity which started to become a rhetoric of homogeny, erasure, ownership, and white supremacy.

I started to think of women as a whole. I thought about "my sisters" and "our sisters" and how to use those phrases to motivate other white women to reevaluate and strengthen their activism and feminism through more intersectional methods. After all, we're all women. We bond over periods, motherhood, breasts, sexual violence, sexism, right? White women should all feel an innate bond and connection to other women because of these things, right? We're SISTERS, right?

WRONG. You are not "my sister" and this rhetoric used by white women is toxic, racist, and erasing.

First off, you are not "mine." This rhetoric implies ownership which is quite honestly disgusting and a perpetuation of white supremacy and colonialism. I think white women use this rhetoric to motivate each other into activism but it's actually doing more harm than good. We want to claim some sort of involvement and responsibility to the feminism and social justice movement but we cannot do so by claiming ownership over other women and their lives.

Secondly, you are not a "sister." I don't know anything about your life experiences as they are influenced by racism, homophobia, transphobia, colonialism, islamophobia, ableism, slut shaming, fat shaming, etc. I cannot claim some shallow bond of "sisterhood" in order to include myself in your fight for social justice and the dismantling of oppression. If we were truly sisters I would not have abandoned you in times of need. I would not be a come-and-go activist. I would not have the option to take a break from activism and pick and choose what I want to be involved in.

As white women we need to find a better way to involve ourselves in social justice movements. We have failed a lot of other women for centuries. They have fought and thrived without our help but we still have a duty and responsibility to humankind to fight for equity, social justice, and the dismantling of systems of oppression. To do so, we must reevaluate our methods to include and empower marginalized women. We must reevaluate our rhetoric and how we effectively get other white women involved in social justice issues.

As a white woman, I vow to the following:

• To actively seek out activist tactics and methods that are intersectional and empower marginalized women 
• To LISTEN to other women and act on their advice for social justice matters 
• I will admit to and apologize for the failures I, and my race, have made 
• I will not pick and choose what social justice issues I fight for; I will not "pass" on certain issues because I am tired or am not personally affected by them 
• To view other women as autonomous human beings with immense strength, capabilities, and knowledge