The Male Feminist: Friend or Foe?

So there's a lot of hub bub going around online about male feminists and the United Nation's #HeForShe campaign. I will have it known that I am 1,000% always down to have more men involved in the movement to end violence against women/sexism. Oppressors are E-EFFING-SSENTIAL in movements to end oppression. But men are often handed a cookie just for labeling themselves as a "feminist" without actually acting like one.  Like cool "This Is What A Feminist Looks Like" shirt, bro, but did you really just say that test raped you?

I'm not really sure where I stand on the whole male feminist topic, but I'm going to take some time to explore my different thoughts and you can make of it what you will. Or write it down in your diary and make inspirational posters with my words on them.

Male Feminists Are Friends

1. We need to un-taboo-ize the word "feminists" and men using that label can help to do so. 

Why is it that if I have a conversation with a guy and say I support women's equality everything's groovy but when I drop the F-bomb I either get mocked or labeled as a bra-burning man hater.

"Feminist" is not some dirty cuss word; people need to stop giggling or cringing when we use it. This isn't 5th grade sex ed where you get to snicker every time the word "vagina" is mentioned.

So, if men specifically label themselves as a "feminist" I think it will help reduce the negative preconceptions around it.

2. Self-identified male feminists get a lot of flack from "women against feminism" and frankly, anything we can do to shake those individuals out of their disillusion mindset is a benefit to humankind. 

First, *LOL CHUCKLE SNORT GUFFAW* at "women against feminism". I'm sorry, I understand internalized misogyny and being raised by close-minded parents, but for real? These women are actively expressing their opinions online so I know they have the resources to learn more about sexism.

Anyways...these anti-feminists have taken it upon themselves to mock male feminists by attacking their masculinity. Check out the hashtag #WomenAgainstFeminism if you want to projectile vomit all over your computer screen.

Wait, so why am I included this as a pro for male feminists? Oh, because the more men we have standing up for feminism, HOPEFULLY the more women will realize that this is a for real movement/issue.

Male Feminists are Foes

1. The internet has taught me that this gross thing called a macktivist exists apparently? 

I praise yeezus that I don't personally know any men that use the label of "feminist" as a way to get laid, but apparently that is a thing.

Urban Dictionary definition:

macktivist

A pseudo-activist who participates in marches and other activities so that he may have access to cute girls who believe in saving the planet. A compounding of "to mack" and "activist." For obvious reasons, this noun has no feminine iteration.

2. Using the label "feminist" as a male is the equivalent of a white woman calling herself an "intersectional feminist" or dare I say...the "straight ally", as well. 

I've mentioned it before, if you are a straight white female you CANNOT call yourself an intersectional feminist because you have no flipping clue what it's like to experience other forms of oppression like racism or transphobia. Also, there's this sick movement of straight allies "coming out" as allies. Naw, cut that ish out.

There's something very problematic about un-oppressed people trying to speak FOR oppressed people. The oppressor is necessary to create safe spaces for unrepresented folk to be heard.

So LISTEN UP, feminism is a space for WOMEN to talk about WOMEN issues. Men, you may sit, look pretty, and listen, but we don't want to hear any of the bs you try to fabricate out of thin air about issues of being female/female-identified because GUESS WHAT?! you don't have to live as a woman, you dinguses.

The only thing you can do is create and respect spaces that are for women. Realize that you will never understand the sexism we have to live with - so let us bitch about it, march in the streets, write books, whatever. Do not insert yourself by trying to pretend you know what our experiences are like.

3. Male feminists often take the approach of framing issues of sexism around the benefits it has for men. 

I have serious beef with campaigns that target men by using emotional rhetoric like Do you have a sister? Would you want someone to treat her like that? That is someone's daughter...blah blah blah. Oh wow, really? Women are just MEN'S daughters, moms, and wives? No, we are so much more than that and we deserve respect and safety based on the fact that we are women, not something attached or belonging to a male.

Also, fighting sexism does have the inherent value of dismantling gender stereotypes/roles which frees men from having to portray hyper masculinity...buttttt feminist discussions shouldn't solely revolve around this benefit. We shouldn't have to incentivize fighting sexism by giving men their own little prizes for being decent human beings.

Men are PART of the solution to sexism not THE solution. Yup, men should check their privilege, call out sexist behavior in other men, and open dialogue about feminist issues. As for the label of "feminist" I'm not 100% sold on men using it.