But before I resurrect NASA, I'd like to explain what "space" in terms of social advocacy means, why it is so important, and what you can do to use your privilege to create space for marginalized groups.
Space can be physical. It can come in the form of meetings, gatherings, parades, group discussions. Space can be visual. It can be created in movies, TV shows, advertisements, commercials. Space can also be vocal and auditory in the form of radio, speeches, books, pamphlets.
So, think about a privileged group, white men, for example. They occupy a majority of spaces. They are always depicted in the media, they make up a majority of the government, as an English major I can tell you that 99.7% of the historical works I read are by white males. So why is this so detrimental? When a group of privilege takes up a majority of a society's space, it leaves little room for marginalized groups. Without LGBTQ friendly clubs, those youth grow up feeling isolated and sometimes internalize homophobia. Without positive representation of black women in the media, little black girls grow up thinking they are less beautiful than white women. Without multi-accessible websites and chat rooms, individuals with disabilities cannot expand their knowledge about their disability and find support through others with the same disability.
These are just a few examples of the detriments that a homogeneous space, occupied by a privileged group, can harm, isolate, and suppress marginalized groups.
I want to focus on one example that I see EVERY SINGLE DAY of my life. That is men using unchecked male privilege to occupy public space to the point of crossing boundaries, instilling fear, and demonstrating a core ideology of sexism.
I'm pretty sure every girl I've ever met has experienced a random guy coming up behind them at a party and just start grinding their nasty crotch up against them with no notice. Every girl has probably been walking down the street and been whistled or hollered at. And every girl has most likely experienced the fear of making eye contact with a guy for more than 1/2 a second for fear that they will take it as an invitation to fuck, make a bee-line to them, and commence their hideous mating ritual of cocky self-entitlement.
Since I encounter examples like these every single day, I think it's safe to assume that there still exists a male population that is completely oblivious of their privilege and have no fucking clue that their physical and vocal presence is not solicited, not wanted, not consensual, and instills fear and discomfort in many women. So let's talk about why this abuse of male privilege is bad and what men can do to knock that shit off.
1. IT'S NOT FUCKING CONSENSUAL
What is it about a half a second of eye contact that you read as "yes, please approach me and begin to spit game in the cockiest way because we both already know that I'm completely willing to go home with you"? Men, mistaking the slightest bit of contact or politeness from women as consent is the most annoying and disgusting thing that you can do. If I make eye contact with you, this is not a sign to approach me. If I smile at you out of politeness, this is not a sign to approach me. Even if I continue a conversation with you for more than 30 seconds, THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO GET ANY CLOSER TO ME. Your male privilege allows you to feel entitled to the space around you, including the space within inches of my face. But this space is not fucking yours and you do not have all women's consent to insert yourself into their space at any time that feels convenient to you.
But Bailey, what are you saying? I'm not allowed to go up to a pretty girl at a bar and make polite conversation? Naw, just make sure that she's comfortable with it. Maybe instead of reading half a second of eye contact as the green light, wait until she noticeably makes eye contact with you or doesn't break eye contact or does so while smiling and giving other body language signals of receptiveness. For Christ's sake, just stop assuming every woman's personal space and time is worthy of your presence.
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2. IT SCARES THE LIVING HELL OUT OF WOMEN
There is nothing scarier than some random man that I've never seen in my entire life telling me to "have a good night" as I'm walking home from the bars at night. That is a sure fire way to make sure I put my keys between my knuckles and practically sprint home ready to sucker punch any other man that tries to approach me.
A lot of men will say that they are just trying to be polite. No. You are making your presence known to that woman. You are displaying a pathetic attempt to get her attention, let her know that you are in her vicinity, and desperately hoping she'll be reckless enough to react to this slimy comment and give you some of her time.
News flash, since a majority of sexual assaults are committed by men, women have become hyper-vigilant of any man in their presence, especially strangers. Male privilege in combination with hyper masculinity and sexism is a potent combination that often leads to violence. Women are well fucking aware of that. You reminding them that you are there, that you are potentially stronger than them, and that you have the disrespectful audacity to insert yourself into their space instills an insane amount of fear that you will never in your entire life ever understand.
Tip - unless a woman looks seriously in danger, don't fucking insert your physical presence into her life. You have zero rights and you don't belong there.
3. IT EXCLUDES OTHER WOMEN WHO NEED THE DAMN SPACE MORE THAN YOU DO
This refers specifically to men inserting themselves into certain realms of the feminist movement. Yes, we need men in the feminist movement. Why? Because our society is so deep rooted in sexism that women aren't taken as seriously and we need men to voice our message in order for it to be heard. So yes, male feminists come one, come all BUT stop inserting your opinion, your words, your ideas into the discussion. The ideology of the feminist movement needs to be made up BY WOMEN seeing as it is FOR WOMEN. And since you have no fucking clue what it's like to live as a woman, your opinion is completely irrelevant, harmful, and takes up space that other women could be occupying to let their experiences be heard.
You want to help fight the big bad patriarchy? Good, then shut up and listen to what women are saying is really wrong. Remove your voice from the vocal and auditory space in order for more women to be heard. The longer you shut up and stop voicing your useless opinions on feminism, the more other women can have the space to be heard. Your job is just to listen and then act in a way that those women say is helpful to the movement.
The topic of space within social activism is a lot broader than just public space and concerns a lot more people than just white men. As a fairly privileged white woman, this is the example that is most prominent in my life. However, I have to be aware of taking up too much space myself. Within the feminist movement, I must always be making space for women of color, women with disabilities, and transwomen and not inserting myself into spaces and conversations that are not directly relevant to my experience as a white queer woman. And I suggest you all try to do the same.
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