10 Things You Should Never Say to a Bisexual Individual

1. It's just a phase
Yo then I must have been in a "phase" for the last 7 years of my life. If I am brave and proud enough to come out as bi and label myself that way, I'm pretty darn sure of what I'm about, son.

Additionally, besides the word "phase" carrying the connotation of a teenage mood swing dictated by insane hormones and goth punk music, phases AREN'T BAD! Your whole life is full of phases. You like expensive cheese and brussel sprouts now? You used to like Go-Gurts and candy when you were three. This is definitely just a phase, you'll go back to an all Go-Gurt diet soon. All adults go through this "phase". No one thinks this way; so don't think about sexuality this way either.

2. Pick a side
No thanks. I spent years of my life struggling with my self identity and how to label myself. I KNOW I'm not straight and I KNOW I'm not gay.

Also, sexuality doesn't have to operate within a binary, you fool. If we are slowly starting to get passed the idea of a gender binary, we need to do the same for sexuality. Although "bi" does mean "two" which inherently refers to 1. man and 2. woman, many people experience attraction to everyone in between and still identify as bi (we'll have more on that in a later post).

3. All girls are a little bi
There is a difference between girls that are willing to experiment, girls that make out with their girlfriends when they're drunk, and girls that are genuinely sexually and emotionally attracted to other girls. It's insulting when you belittle my experiences by equating them to everyone else's.

4. Would you be down to have a threesome?
You know there's a difference between bisexuality and polyamory, right? And even polyamory isn't always the desire to have a sexual relationship with multiple partners at one time. Often times it is simply romantic. And bisexuals can very much be monoamorous or polyamorous.

But where the hell do you come from coming at me with your gross sexual propositions assuming I just sleep around with everyone and that I exist purely for the entertainment of straight couples that want to get freaky? My sexuality is not a kink, gtfo.

5. Everyone experiments in college
Cool, rad, awesome. I recommend it. Discover your sexuality in college where you can meet an insanely diverse group of people. Identify as bi after experimenting, don't identify as bi after experimenting, I don't care.

But my sexuality has been a part of me long before college and will continue to be a part of me after college. I know that. THAT'S WHY I CHOOSE TO IDENTIFY THIS WAY! If I were just experimenting, I would say I'm just experimenting.

6. You're just confused/you're gay you just don't want to admit it
What is so confusing about the idea that guys and gals are attractive and I want to kiss them both and raise babies with them both? I like people, jah feel?

And do not undermine my process of coming out as bisexual by saying I'm too afraid to come out as a lesbian. BOTH coming out processes are equally as hard. Unbeknownst to you, it took a lot of courage and double guessing myself to come out as bi, but I did it, so hell naw, I'm not afraid of anything.

7. Have you ever even hooked up with a girl? (or guy)
I don't need to have hooked up with a girl to know that I like them. When you were growing up did you sleep with a girl when you were 7 which magically made you know you were straight? Do children that grow up knowing they are gay have to hook up with someone of the same sex to validate that? Naw, ya nasty, they just feel it.

8. Well that's not as hard as being a lesbian/gay
DO NOT INVALIDATE MY EXPERIENCE AS A BISEXUAL! We are often even ostracized from gay and lesbian spaces so don't tell me it's easier to be bi. Loads of people don't even believe bisexuality exists! You try dealing with that, punk.

9. So you're just horny all the time?
Yeah because being attracted to men and women means I'm attracted to ALL men and women. Also, here's an idea, my sexuality isn't purely sexual. It's also based on an emotional connection, mutual interests, if you like Criminal Minds or not...

10. *thinks to self: this person is just greedy, they definitely sleep around, they'll for sure cheat on me*
There is this super harmful stereotype that bisexuals are these sexually greedy deviants that will go around rampantly having threesomes and destroying relationships. It's kind of the same way that some guys get uncomfortable around a gay man because eww he's going to hit on me all the time and try to make moves on me. 

Uh, people in the LGBTQ community aren't all about sex 24/7. And no one wants to hook up with your narrow-minded bigoted ass anyways.