No Girl is "High Maintenance"

As a feminist, I will defend women to the effing grave. I didn't always have that mindset. For sure I judged other girls all through middle and high school. I wore jeans and men's undershirts and Gloria Steinem forbid you wore UGGs around me, I'd give you the evil eye. But learning more about the every day sexism that every woman faces, I became much more understanding and willing to stand in solidarity with my sisters, even those that make different choices than myself. Because for Susan B. Anthony's sake, we already have to deal with men treating us like sub par sexual objects, the last thing we need is to treat each other like that, as well.

Thus said, I will defend women that enjoy their manicures, Lewey V-Ton, and shopping until you lower me into the grave when I will have had the mortician fixture my fingers to flip everyone the bird as I descend.

I will not have it anymore with the phrase "high maintenance girl/woman". And here are some reasons why:

1. The phrase belittles and shames female activities and gender expression.

Getting your hair/nails done is often seen as a female activity. Since when does maintaining a hyper feminine appearance or female gender expression constitute one as high maintenance? I'm really sick and tired of women that want to express their femininity being considered shallow, materialistic, or anti-feminist.

If guys think less of girls that enjoy expressing their femininity and see it as a sign of weakness, it makes it okay for other girls to do the same thing. When girls say "I'm not like other girls" or "I don't have any girl friends because they're so much drama" I want to smack them in their Carmex-instead-of-Mac-lipgloss lips. But then I also realize that this, my friends, is a form of internalized misogyny. Guys view feminine actions and expression as lesser than, so females want to, or subconsciously, do the same.

For Ruth Bader Ginsburg's sake, just look at what UrbanDictionary says is related to the phrase "high maintenance". If you think that calling a girl this is harmless when it clearly has horrible connotations, you are dead wrong. Awesome, caring about my looks and wanting to express stereotypical femininity devalues my sexuality and makes me a whore. Totally makes sense.

2. Men act like "putting up with" these women is worth it purely for the sex.
"High maintenance" women are depicted as only being good for sex or as arm candy because of their flawless physical appearance. Just check out this super empowering Axe commercial:

Yeah, dudes, just because you chose to go shopping with your girl and carry her bags around doesn't entitle you to wild sex, or any sex at all. If I was with a guy with that mentality, he would only get a sad handjob. To the face. With my fist. I am 1 billion percent certain that girls that are depicted this way are actually WAY more complex and three-dimensional. You can like designer brands and still have a brain. You can enjoy your significant other's company while shopping and not feel obligated to repay him in sex after. You can never leave your house without makeup and still be a compassionate loving person who wants an intimate connection based on more than sex with a neanderthal that reeks of $3 middle school cologne.

3. The word "maintenance" itself promotes a super unhealthy idea of relationships.

Relationships, and women, are not cars. You should not have to barely maintain a relationship simply for the sex, you should thrive and grow in it. The idea around a "high maintenance" girl is that her significant other puts up with her, can hardly satisfy her unless he's ballin' hard with the Benjamins, and is forced to act like a personal shopping cart while out and about.

This image is not only just plain stupid, but it promotes this idea of a crappy one-sided relationship where two people can hardly tolerate each other and only do so because of physical appearance and money.

Also the idea that women have to be maintained is gross. Yeah if you think of high maintenance as maintaining my flawless good looks and bitchin' wardrobe so I can stomp all over any boy that assumes I'm too shallow to go camping, then sure, that's what high maintenance is. But it's not as if as soon as these girls stop going to the salon or buying heels they break down into some hideous troll, self destruct, and take the whole human race down with them. I'm not maintaining shit but my superiority over your smelly boy self.

And just for fun, I included some things I found on the World Wide Web while writing this post. According to my research and the outstanding gentleman over at AskMen.com, here are a few things that make a girl "high maintenance":

1. Girls that don't fart or go no. 2
Hahahahaha....ha....ha.....I never shit. Ever. I swear. It's not like 87% of the conversations with my dad or roommates revolve around my bowel movements. I eat Activia for Ladie'z Delicate Bowels every day. It just magically evaporates everything in my system.

2. Orders fruity drinks
Long Islands are delicious and they fuck you up. I'm being practical. You should try one next time you're trying to butt chug whiskey to validate your manhood.

3. Monogrammed luggage
I'll be laughing when some group of tourists takes off with your luggage at the airport because it's forgettable and indistinguishable as hell. Byyyye.

4. Hypochondriac? 
Seriously, fuck off AskMen.com and Reddit. So many guys are quick to label "high maintenance" girls as clingy, insecure, and attention seeking. Yo, like these, as well as hypochondria, are symptoms of other mental illnesses. It's not a freaking joke to degrade women for being mentally unstable. 

So guys and gals, next time you see a lady that has clearly put a lot of effort into her looks and enjoys a little retail therapy, for the love of every Real Housewives cast maybe try complimenting her for once and acknowledge that she might actually enjoy looking flossy as hell every day.